There are a few "quality of life" characteristics that I would like for my children to have and to stay with them long after I am gone. There are certain things you want them to learn and pass down to their children. There are a few things I can think of. One of them is the act of giving. I wanted to bring my children with me to learn as they see me model compassion and taking action in consideration of others. It seems as though these moments are rare but they are not. After Ethiopia, they are a lot more grounded somehow. They now understand, a little better the concept of this word "Sharing". They seem to be putting the pieces together.
Our Neighbor has cancer and is dieing. We used to bring her food. The children love knocking her door to say, "Karen, look what we brought you today". When she went into the Hospice they wanted to continue bringing her food. We took them to see her and we were all so happy to see each other. This is all Karen spoke about to her friends who were visiting; how we cooked and brought her food. They felt so good about their good deed. Now there is another sick neighbor from downstairs with three cute dogs and a beautiful parrot. As soon as they heard I was making her soup (which is her favorite) they were ready before bedtime putting on their own pajamas, in mismatch, to take her the soup. And I should add to see her beautiful dogs, to which when we left they used the opportunity to ask for a pet.
They have witnessed us giving and serving in different capacities. Spending time with people in need, nursing homes, persons with developmental disabilities, fundraising events, etc. This is such a valuable life lesson to them, as children can be self focused. Also you have to know your child and what they can handle. For children at a lower level of giving, start with baking grandma some happy cupcakes (with sprinkles and other eatable decorations). They can also make cards or paintings to encourage someone (with their signature of course). Have them call someone who wouldn't expect their phone call, explaining to the child/ren, why it would be nice for them to make the sacrifice. Another good one is to call and sing the Happy Birthday song to a relative or friend. Be prepared, they may want them to sing again as they record it on voice mail.
I've watched this sense of giving work first hand for my family and a couple of others who are now have teenagers. They are amazing kids who are mature and responsible. They have great manners and have done some great things at such early ages. With all the normality of teen life they still stay true to keeping a soft heart to the less fortunate and in serving their communities. This is compelling to me as an adult and want my children to cultivate and imitate this spirit of giving.
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"Charity begins at home" and "Character begins at home" -- it is the duty and responsibility of the adults of the house to mold the children in understanding charity and character. Of course, they cannot be lectured about them because they aren't really capable of understanding the boring philosophy. Making them do small things with regard to charity or character is a start, until they understand them completely and are self motivated to continue doing charity and building character. This post has a lot of hints and messages that can be used to understand what parents must do to build character in their children.
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